Reflections

Thursday, March 10, 2016

How can you believe when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?
(John 5:44)

Whom am I trying to please, Lord? Do I crave validation and comfort from you or from my friends? Or, even worse, do I strive to satisfy only myself?

I will never forget kneeling before the novice mistress, whining “Sister, what am I going to do about human respect?” Sadly, I do not remember what she answered. That was almost sixty years ago. Have I changed? Am I still trying to solve everything as though it were a math problem, instead of giving it up to you? I trust you to humble me, to save me from myself, to make me step aside and let you work through me.

This evening I went to deliver a message and ended up chatting for more than an hour with someone I rarely visit. I know that was your will, though I hadn’t planned it, and the few things I did plan could wait. All I had to do was be with my neighbor, sit with her and pass the time. I think it was good for both of us. I need to be more spontaneous.

Sometimes, I need an agenda, but even when I stick to my schedule I end up wasting time. When I let myself be interrupted, it isn’t that hard to catch up. You arrange everything. I will try hard to trust you wherever you lead me. I forgot what a relief it is, at times, not to have to think about what I should be doing. When I truly listen to another, I can forge to wonder what others think of me, or even what I think of myself. You are all that matters. Thank you.

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