Thursday, October 10, 2013
I cry, not tears of sadness,
But of awe
Because I am so small
Yet cradled in enormity
By One whose hand
This came to me as I was reciting the Angelus today, when I came to the clause, “And the Word was made flesh…”
Here I am, Lord. Thank you for the tears that announce your comforting Presence. Only your grace can allow me to acknowledge you this way.
Thank you for surrounding me with thoughtful and cheerful people. I am so happy today, despite the nagging fear that I won’t accomplish this or that. That is my pride. Forgive me. You will give me the strength and the tools to accomplish whatever you want from me. How blessed I am. Thy will be done. Be it done unto me. Fiat! So be it. Amen.
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Lord, I spent hours this morning on a wild goose chase, but I did all that I could and at least that task is over. It has taken me almost as long to relate it as it did to experience it. I always feel that the step of reviewing my day is superficial and futile, but I know that as I write I become more aware of how you are directing me. What do you want me to learn?
I think that one reason I am so resistant and frustrated is that I ate mostly junk food yesterday. I need to plan my meals and eat before I get too hungry to prepare something sensible. Too often, I drift and run on automatic with no discipline.
Also, I am too easily thrown off course when interruptions or sudden demands cause me to stop or swerve. Forgive me, Lord, and help me to be more flexible, even in my disciplines. When there are detours, lead me through them, and show me the sights along the way.
I am a work in progress. You are the potter; I am the clay. Let me conform to your pattern for me. Thy will be done.
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
So much trivia, Lord! What matters today? I need to un-clutter my environment and my soul. What useless thoughts and activities can I dispose of? I am losing my taste for TV and that makes me feel freer. What a burden passive activities (oops ,oxymoron) can be! They are escapes, but from what? Boredom? Insignificance? What is significant except you? Let me remember St. Therese’s “little way” and acknowledge that doing the best I can at the most mundane chore is meaningful prayer.
I feel as though I waste so much time and don’t help anyone, but even if the most I can do is free others from the burden of helping me, then give me the humility to accept that. If you want me to share what you teach me, I have the means to do that. If that’s all I can give right now, so be it.
You love me just as I am, and the only way I can serve you is to respond to your Love. Yes, Lord, yes. Let that be my prayer for the rest of this day, just “Yes, Lord.”
In your infinite mercy, forgive me for all the times I didn’t even think about responding, didn’t even try to hear you. Forgive me for the times I said, “No.” Let me hear your voice and find your will for me.
Today, I begin. No, today, Lord, I end and you begin. Be it done unto me.